Lela at work in the salon. © CARE / Maia Giorbelidze.Lela was only 15 when she got married. She was abducted by her future husband, but she loved him, and therefore she does not describe it as an act of violence. Kidnapping brides is common in some provinces of Georgia and is often not perceived as violence even by the ‘victims’.
Bride kidnappings often result in rape, and victims have nearly no chance of remarrying, feel disgraced, and are afraid to return to their families. Although Lela’s case was a lucky exception—no rape was involved—her early marriage affected her entire life.
Sixty percent of women in Georgia are married before 20, and young brides’ education is often not a high priority, as families make the decision as a whole. Lela managed to finish secondary school. “I always wanted to become a nurse,” she says. “Helping people, emotionally and physically, must be something priceless. Wearing a white gown, a white mask and gloves, giving aid to people in the hospital – this was the future I pictured for myself. The present day is so much different.”
Lela was devastated at 22 when her husband died in a car accident. In Georgia, a husband’s death creates many difficulties for women. Young female widows are expected to wear black as a sign of bereavement for at least a year, but Lela is still wearing black five years later. This is not her choice, but that of her in-laws.
During the war, Lela was forced flee her home with her children and in-laws. The family’s sole source of income became the state-issued monthly compensation. People in Lela’s position were doomed to starvation.
“I was in despair, without any hope or way out. But I felt I had to stand up. I was responsible to my children and wanted to prove to myself that I could do something. Then I heard that an international organisation called CARE was giving money to poor people with business ideas. I decided I should come up with an idea. I found a simple one, but it worked,” says Lela.
Lela applied to participate and became one of the 85 internally displaced women who each received USD$1000 grants for the launch of a business. With this money, she opened a beauty salon in her own cottage, which now serves residents from the Karaleti IDP settlement and Gori. Lela calculates she will have about 30 clients per month. Her income will amount to USD$200-250: more than enough to keep her family from starvation.
Today, Lela thinks that she is freer and stronger than ever.
“I respect my family and my deceased husband,” says Lela. “But respect has more value when it comes from the heart, and is not forced upon you. I feel more independent now and I think I have the right to have a say in the family.”
